How to improve Spider Man’s character

I know that my swashbuckler image will get me in hot water with fans of the Amazing Spider Man who admire the Peter Parker character who is a teenager who lives with his aunt May Parker who in the Marvel cartoon series detested spiders as well as the masked hero who is as likeable as yours truly taking a leak into the television series that are broadcast on the Completely Woke (CW) Network.

Guess what? I do not care if some humanoids do not like my views of fantasy life that is on the air on the idiot box or tell lie vision makes me as likeable as actor Sylvester Stallone trying out for the lead role in the movie “Rocky”.

What ticks me off of the Spider Man character is that Eugene “Flash” Thompson gets his jollies of picking on Peter because Wimpy Parker cannot fight back since he would reveal his secret identity.

My view of this problem would be that Peter would have the assistance of my original character Elizabeth Parker who is based on former Panamanian beauty queen Erika Parker who is from Colon Panama which is located in the Atlantic side of the isthmus.

Elizabeth who is from Lexicon is an underwater specialist would serve as May’ s caretaker and tell her that not to believe what the Daily Bugle says about Spider Man being a public menace by telling her that Spider Man is an angel compared to her alter ego Gill Gal.

Yes you read it right. Gill Gal who is not related to the “Creature Of The Black Lagoon” movies. Could you imagine the facial expression of Flash Thompson seeing Gill Gal wearing her Kelly green swimsuit with a star logo on her chest as she tells the football star at Empire State University as she tells Flash in her alto voice “Flash Thompson, bums like you make me mad that you pick on that Wimpy Peter, I have news for you. If I see you bother Peter again, I do have a license to kill.” Then she sings the song sung by Gladys Knight as Flash flees the ESU science class.

Of course Wimpy Peter will object to what Elizabeth does to his classmate. Elizabeth would simply tell Peter “Wimpy, I mean Peter. You do things my way and get some moxie in that brainy image of yours.”

Take that Marvel. Oh by the way, be thankful that I use the terms “Cretin” and “humanoid” instead of cuss words that Trump hater use to the determent of this comic book business which is on life support with comic book characters like “New Warriors” and “Bruce Wayne Gotham High.”

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Wait until next year

As many sports fans who root for a team that has not won a championship in the four major sports or college sports means that even though their favorite team did not bring home the championship title, there is hope that the next sports season will be a winner.

Now this post is making reference to children who are celebrating birthdays this year but due to the Coronavirus pandemic and orders from state politicians on the side of caution, the families of children who want to celebrate a birthday party will have to stay inside the home.

I would call these unforeseen events like a natural disaster as a detour. Sure you cannot drive an auto on a closed road. Take an alternate route to get to your destination since we all have to think about the long run in our lifetime.

For those children who had to stray home this year instead of going out on the town to celebrate your birthday, cheer up.

Remember that your health is more important at your young stage in life than risking your life with this pandemic plaguing our world at this time.

At least in some cases, friends and relatives have come to wish some of the children a happy birthday. Second place ain’t so bad.

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How to improve super hero movies

Here we go with another of my biting satires of how to improve the upcoming “Wonder Woman 1984” and “Black Widow” movies that have been pushed back from their original dates due to the coronavirus mess.

For example in the two upcoming movies, have our heroines use the infamous eye poke maneuver on their foes since it will give both Wonder Woman and Black Widow the edge of unloading haymakers on their enemies since an enemy unless she is related to Daredevil cannot hit  a target that they cannot see for a brief while.

Another great tactic to use is to play the role of “This is all your fault.” by having the heroine kick the behind of her foe.

The foe would say “I get a kick out of you.” Then proceed to return the favor to the heroine until one of them kicks the lead male actor who plays the boyfriend of the heroine providing that either Dumb Comics and Marv Hell decide to play their cards right.

And finally have our heroines use the infamous slap across the face play which will likely bruise the ego of the victim who receives the blow.

Follow these suggestions and you will have a happy audience cheering for you in the theaters. The theme song from the end of Looney Tunes should be played at the end of the movie as the boyfriends of the heroines get a kiss on the mouth and do their best tribute to the late Kirk Douglas from the movie “The Villain.”

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Do you sports stars miss us?

If there is one good thing that this coronavirus has been good for, is that stories of NBA basketball stars getting into conflicts with sports fans who pay the salary of these “Sports entertainers” is that they have such thin skins when they get heckled.

Thank you NBA for nothing by denying a sports fan the right to heckle a basketball player by calling them nasty names that offend them to the point where some fans have been banned from attending basketball games since the players did squeal to the powers that be that they had their feelings hurt by a paying customer.

As Batman would tell Superman in one episode of the Fart Toon I mean Cartoon Network show that the Justice League had to team up with Darkseid in battle “Cry me a river.”

Now that the NBA has placed the regular season on hold, there have been no reports of those basketball players getting into fights with the sorry suckers who have to put up with millionaire players playing a kids game.

Maybe this health challenge is a wake up call that maybe we the sports fan will find something else to do on their free time.

But I doubt since the sports fan knows the Devil they have to put up with. At least I knew when to get off the bus when I could see that there was some rough roads ahead getting to the Limits section of the former Canal Zone in Panama.

What was that again?

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Hold everything

Okay so I am using a punchline from the Dick Tracy cartoons that cannot be televised today due to political correctness.

However since I have an obligation to act our my swashbuckling image, I have some mixed feelings that the upcoming “Wonder Woman 1984” movie has been pushed back from June 2020 to August 14, 2020 due to the coronavirus that is plaguing our world.

What makes me laugh is that fans of the late John Lennon who recorded the song “Imagine” claim the song was great which I do not deny at all.

Critics claimed that the song is a Communist song since the song talks about a utopia on Earth.

Well guess what this native of Ancon Panama found out looking up information of my former neighborhood town of La Boca Panama.

It was a utopia for those of us living there since the Panama Canal was turned over to a foreign power.

Now some humanoids are suggesting that actress and former beauty queen Gal Gadot who is a former Miss Israel and her mates who sang the song “Imagine” are getting a curse over not using their celebrity powers to assist the needy while they are in their barracks I mean homes.

Gee whiz Hollywood, maybe if we the humanoids could not bring down your super hero movie empire this summer by boycotting the movies, a natural disaster like this infamous virus has pushed back those super hero movies.

Now if my original characters were to be in the hands of any Hollywood studio such as the “Bad Girls Of The Isthmus” who are Donna and Debi Isthmus who are identical twins and their close family friend Isthmus “Panama” Squirrel were to go the that funny town who claims to entertain you, I would be angrier than former New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts head coach Jim E. Mora with his infamous rant that reads “Playoffs? Are you kidding  me? Playoffs?” look like a nice quote by comparison.

Oh by the way Wonder Woman fans, they should brought back Steve Trevor and come up with a story that instead of dying in the plane crash at the end of the first movie, he was rescued by an alien from another planet that produced Ultra Seven and his crew. Huh?

Could you see Steve Trevor as Ultra Seven? Just kidding since Ultra Seven and myself share one common trait, Our tongues did not get by customs at Tocumen Airport just outside Panama City Panama,

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Dear super hero actors

In the latest joke coming from Hollywood which I started to discuss after my lead blog of leaving  Quora for the thought if I am not making money for trying to do what I enjoy doing, now comes my opinion of why I am upset with the actors and actresses who play super hero characters in the movies and television shows can get their movies hyped by the media and I will avoid them like the virus.

This is the top reason why I will ignore the hype from the entertainment shows even if the actor and actress have their likeness on the cover of a magazine.

First of all ding a lings, have the movie have a happy ending. Am I asking you to swim 50 miles in the Panama Canal from Ancon to Colon? No.

Second of all just keep shooting off your mouth that you are a person who loves someone of your own gender since I need to lampoon you in my fan fictions.

Frankly my dear Batmoron, I do not care if you love another female. Keep it to yourself.You got that dearie?

Finally I do remember a saying from the late pro wrestler Nick Bockwinkel when he was asked if his former manager the late Bobby “The Brain” Heenan was in real life his wrestling characters when he worked in the W W F (now WWE) and W C W.

Nick answered the question something to the effect of “Playing a character is like a tree. It grows on you.”

So while you are in your camps, get a get out of jail card and even if you have to wear a disguise, get on the front line and lend a hand to the humanoids who place their necks on the line to help those in need.

And finally when you get on social media do not tell us to Fry off or call us buttheads. My answer to your insults is “You are nothing but Catholic League rejects.” We pay your salary. You got that? Good. Carry on.

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Goodbye Quora.

It is with no regrets that I have decided to take a leave of work from the site Quora due to my desire to make money from sites like,, and others instead of wasting my time with that questions and answers site that was causing me headaches by answering questions and not getting paid for it.

I enjoyed my time there but if I am not happy with the rate of getting paid on the Partner’s Program, it is goodbye for now.

I am not a person that is one to cry “He hit me” when some cretin decides to insult my comments and views on subject matters.

Like I have stated on Twitter “If my remarks offend you. Take it with a grain of salt.” I am back here for the time being to express my views on subject matter that will tick off fans of super hero movies who instead of assisting people in need in their backyard in Hollywood, they decide to sing “Imagine.” by the late John Lennon.

Come on clowns, step up to the plate and lend a helping hand to the common man and woman who are the real heroes.

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From the Stacks: Sack Race

The Panama Canal Museum Collection at UF

Here we see a mad dash for the finish line in a photo labeled “Margarita MRA sack race.” Can you confirm if “MRA” is the Margarita Recreational Association? What do you know about this group and/or event? What were some other recreational events you attended in the Canal Zone?sackrace004sackrace004

Make sure to join us for the 2018 Panama Canal Society Reunion in Orlando from June 27 – July 1, 2018, where there will be an exhibit about popular culture in the Panama Canal Zone on display. See more information and register here: We hope to see you there!

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Are the Three Stooges running the New York Giants?

If you are a New York Giants football fan you are probably scratching your head on why did former New York Giants football coach Bob McAdoo and former general manager Jerry Reese decide to break the hearts of Eli Manning by sitting down there star quarterback last Sunday against the Oakland Raiders?

Come on it is not Eli’s fault that the Giants are 2-10 in the 2017 National Football League season. The Giants had a tougher schedule this year and without any quality wide receivers like Odell Beckham Junior who suffered a broken ankle early in the season and a poor rushing attack Eli could not lead his team to some more wins this year.

What makes me laugh is when the football talking heads were shaking their heads that Geno Smith would replace Manning as the starting quarterback my thoughts were “Come on you humanoids, it is only a football game.”

Then to really hit the ball out of the Rod Carew Stadium bleachers in the outfield in Panama City Panama, the same talking heads are saying that the Mannings are the Royal Family of the Nausea Football League. Sure and there have been sightings of the late Donna Summer at an ESSO gasoline station in Panama City Panama near the Little River neighborhood pumping gasoline last week.

Gee whiz Eli if you wanted to keep your streak alive past 210 games you should have played the first half of the game against the Raiders. But no you had to ride the pines while the talking heads were saying “Why? Bob Why?”

But then again thanks to the squeaky wheels football players who raise their fist in the air during the playing of the American National Anthem since 2016, I have decided to dedicate my time writing those fan fictions of The Lexicon Bandits featuring Wordgirl and Captain Huggyface.

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Does Jerry Jones know how to run a football team?

As a closet Dallas Cowboys fan since where I live in really New Orleans Saints and Houston Texas football country, I am starting to wonder if Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones will make the right decision to terminate his current football coach Jason Garrett who has coached America’s Team for seven seasons.

The Cowboys are in danger of not making a playoff appearance this football season. Since Jerry cannot fire all of his players on his football team, the head coach is the one person who will fall on his sword. Figure speaking of course.

I am sure when the 2017 football season ends, Jerry will make a decision if Jason Garrett remains his head coach or will he fire Garrett and hire another football coach either from Garrett’s staff or go outside the Cowboys family to find his replacement.

All I can say to Cowboys fans is that according to former Dallas Cowboys and Miami Dolphins head coach Jimmy Johnson said on a Fox Sports talk show something to the effect of “If an owner is hands on with the football team that he owns, the team will not be going to a Super Bowl.”

Johnson believes that an owner of a football team let the coaches and executives run the football team and stay out of the way. Great advice if only Jerry would heed Johnson’s advice. Do not hold your breath.

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